The Mystery Revealed

Life was so much simpler then.  I spent my waking hours swimming, dreaming, and playing.  I slept when I wanted; I slept as long as I wanted.  Day-to-day worries and fears never entered my mind. 

I did not give much thought to the sounds from heaven.  They did not bother me, and I did not bother them.  I never once questioned where they came from, even though there was no apparent source. 

The waters in which I swam were clean and warm.  They provided comfort, much like the comfort attained by the pure of heart when they participate in sensory deprivation experiments.  The greatest joy in my life was the time I spent frolicking in my own private pool. 

Even the ever-present cord didn’t bother me.  Whenever it got in the way, I deftly manoeuvred around it. 

It seems like an entire lifetime has passed since those days.  My memory has mostly faded now.  The details are pretty well gone, but I can still remember the peaceful, easy feeling. 

It changed.  Of course it changed!  How could I have been so naive? 

I remember the day I first noticed the changes.  My world had been shrinking all along, but I did not notice.  Eventually, I could no longer swim with carefree abandon.  Every movement I made was somehow restricted.  Then came the day when I became aware of the dangers of the cord. 

The omnipresent cord had never really caught my attention before.  However, it made its presence known that day. 

I was completing my playtime, starting to get tired, ready for another nap.  As I completed yet another somersault, the cord snuck up behind me and looped itself around my neck.  Every movement I made drew it tighter.  The flow of lifegiving, oxygenated blood was halted.  My life would end in mere moments. 

To this day, I still do not understand what happened.  I heard a sound, perhaps the voice of God, then the whole world shifted, pushing me (and the cord) aside.  The sudden movement must have surprised the cord, for its grip loosened.  As I was pushed aside, I was pushed clear of the danger.  After that (and a couple of other close calls), I was always careful when I noticed the cord nearby. 

My eyes opened that day.  I started to become aware of many changes.  At first, they were subtle, but eventually they became quite obvious. 

The walls of my world caught my attention first.  They were not as stable as I once thought.  They not only occasionally had spasms, but also seemed to be moving in closer. My world was shrinking! 

Eventually, the walls of the world were so close that they touched me on all sides.  I could no longer perform my usual acrobatics.  I could manoeuvre only by pushing at the walls.  (I still do not understand why the walls push back.  Perhaps it is the hand of God, restraining me from breaking through to his/her domain.) 

My beautiful, warm swimming pool lost its clarity.  Every day it became a little more polluted.  There is no more enjoyment in swimming.  I feel cheated. 

Now, as I approach the end of my life, I can more easily understand the patterns that have always been there.  The world is not shrinking; I am growing.  And now, I face the fact that I no longer belong in this world. 

I am ready for my death.  I am prepared to meet this God whose voices I have heard all my life.  His/her voices always used to comfort me. 

I cannot understand the strangeness of it all.  God is shouting at me in anger, or is it pain.  Is he/she angry with me?  What have I done wrong? 

Even now, I can see a tear in the wall, a passage to heaven with a strange light occasionally peeking through.  It is not like the dull, indistinct light to which I have become accustomed.  It is thousands of times brighter, even painful. 

Here it comes.  The world collapses around me, forcing me toward the light.  I can feel the life being squeezed out of me.  First my head, then my shoulders, then the rest of my body follows.  I am being forced through the hole.  I am entering into God’s own realm. 

The brightness surprises me and I let out a cry.  It is cold and dry, but I am still alive.  I hear the voice, but do not understand the meaning, as someone says, “It’s a boy!”